Thursday, April 4, 2013

Time To Speed This Break Up

Alright.  I’ve obviously lost count of what pack I’m busting right now.  That was bound to happen, because I’m really bad at numbers.  That’s why I’m not an accountant, or good at gambling. This project is dragging on a lot longer than I wanted it to so from here on out we’re busting multiple packs at a time. Today there will be two and the next two days will have three packs.  Frankly there is more I want to write about (thems creative juices be flowin’ again), kind of like the post about the Lightning.

Yes, it defeats the original idea of the project – opening a box one pack, one day at a time.  Well, there was actually another reason behind it.  That was to get me in a place where I can write every day, or at least almost every day.  I think I’m in that place right now so I’m taking the training wheels off and going for it.
Without further adieu today’s packs:

Andrelton Simmons – “Yo baby, why don’t you drop that zero and get with a hero?”

Joel Hanrahan – “I was told there would be chicken and beer.”

Victor Martinez – “My knee looks like what?”

Ryan Cook – “I’m totally Vadaring this ball”.

Frank Francisco – “You said look serious”

Alfonso Soriano – “I swear I will waive my no-trade this year, please trade me”

Albert Pujols (action variation) – “Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.”

Alex Presley – “If one more person mentions Elvis I will crush their head with this bat.”

Matt Cain/Buster Posey – “So my guy was saying I need to diversify my portfolio.  I don’t know what that means but I did buy a lot of gold and bury it in my back yard.”

Best Card – Simmons
Worst Card – Francisco

Pack Two!

Rockies Future Stars – Ortega hit .500 in spring training this year with an OPS of 1.405.  Not too shabby. Topps might be onto something.

NL Pitching Leaders – Of everyone pictured here I think only Johnny Cueto makes it back.

Matt Moore – Those are some thick eyebrows you got there, Matty Moore.

Justin Smoak – In the land of failed prospects, he shall be their king.

Omar Infante – Ummm.. I got nothing.

Don Mattingly – The Hit Man. One of the great “What ifs” of the modern era. As in, “What if his back had actually held up for his entire career.”

Chris Sale Chrome – Love the herky-jerky windup.  There are too many cookie cutter windups in the league these days.  Nice to see something different (especially since I don’t have to hit against it).

Andy Pettitte – “You Mad Bro?”

Hitting Area – Who would have though Bryce Harper wouldn’t be the asshole in this picture?

Best Card – Pettitte
Worst Card –Infante, just cause I couldn’t come up with anything remotely clever.

1 comment:

Jeff said...

Or you could just put the packs to the back burner, and pull one out whenever writer's block hits.