FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 29, 2016
Contact: Francisco Churruca (555.867.5309, email@example.com)
Raw Charge Signs JustinG. to an open-ended contract
The Internet – Raw Charge has signed free agent blogger JustinG. to an open-ended contract to provide original Tampa Bay Lightning content for the leading hockey website. Terms were not disclosed.
JustinG., aged but still hearty, penned 54 posts for The Hopeful Chase as a free agent writer in 2015. While the majority revolved around the Lightning he has been known to branch out to cover boxing, trading cards and, every once in awhile, baseball. The Harrogate, England native set career highs in 2011 and 2012 when he posted 111 and 75 time respectively. He was wildly unemployed at the time. The Hopeful Chase was the second blog he started, the first being Is This a Wasteland, a chronicle of life as a sports fan living in Tampa. Dozens of people besides his parents enjoyed his writing.
His only “journalism” background came in college where he wrote for the school paper. His college roommate was named athlete of the month by the paper multiple times because JustinG was too lazy to interview anyone else. He also wrote about squirrels taking over the campus. He has never won an award for his writing.
Talent scout, Arriaga II, was quoted as saying, “We really think JustinG. will put the ‘Raw’ in Raw Charge. With his spelling errors, hazy memories and almost criminal disregard for even the basic fundamentals of grammar it will be a challenge editing his posts, but hopefully he watches a YouTube video or something and improves. He wrote for a college newspaper? Unbelievable. At least he works cheap.”
JustinG. was never drafted by a professional team. He tried out for the Minnesota Twins in high school. Not only did he not make it past the first cut, he also managed to lose a glove.
While his Lightning writing will migrate to the Raw Charge, his other rambling and barely coherent thoughts will continue to be published here. We apologize for that.